The Queen’s thoughts on Dating/Courting a Christian

13 Jun

The Queen reads a lot of blogs on a daily basis and I run across so many tips for young professional men/women, as it concerns dating. Some of these posts have great in sight about what to look for and how to present one’s self in a romantic setting. As much as I love this advice, most of it is deeply rooted in a secular realm. I want to discuss some things I believe will benefit believers who are dating or courting (which ever you are doing…. or believe in…. Since there is such a debate, I will use the terms interchangeably). We need to start setting our standards apart from the world and really begin to think on what would please God, in relation to dating/courting.

Each person must be in relationship and NOT recognition with God– Many times Christians make the huge mistake of giving people the time of day who do not have a true relationship with Christ. This person that you are dating should have a healthy relationship with God. If you begin to notice that the person you are dating is someone who says they are committed to Christ but not actually walking in the wholeness of a holy walk… RUN! You really cannot date unbelievers or people who are not walking with Christ. Don’t get me wrong, no one is perfect in his or her walk but it is necessary to be linked with someone who serves a perfect Lord, entirely.

2 Corinthians 6:14

Contemporary English Version (CEV)

14Stay away from people who are not followers of the Lord! Can someone who is good get along with someone who is evil? Are light and darkness the same?



Involve your partner in your interests- If you like to attend plays or concerts, skydive, roller-skating, golfing… etc., expose your partner to it. Show them what you love to do because it reveals something more about you that they can love (or look at you crazy and love them in spite of it…lol).

Have clear expectations, from the BEGINNING- At a certain time, two people realize that their relationship is serious. Maybe they feel that God has called them to be together. Now What? Get a plan. Will you spend the night? (Look out for this post… What does God think about spending the night?) What are each other’s expectations? What tempts you? Couples must discuss these things before temptation/adversity comes, because it will. We can have the best intentions but we are dwelling in flesh. I believe if a Christian couple lays out their issues on the table and prays together about it, God will lead you and keep you!

Romans 7:18-25

Contemporary English Version (CEV)

18I know that my selfish desires won’t let me do anything that is good. Even when I want to do right, I cannot. 19Instead of doing what I know is right, I do wrong. 20And so, if I don’t do what I know is right; I am no longer the one doing these evil things. The sin that lives in me is what does them.

21The Law has shown me that something in me keeps me from doing what I know is right. 22With my whole heart I agree with the Law of God. 23But in every part of me I discover something fighting against my mind, and it makes me a prisoner of sin that controls everything I do. 24What a miserable person I am. Who will rescue me from this body that is doomed to die? 25Thank God! Jesus Christ will rescue me. So with my mind I serve the Law of God, although my selfish desires make me serve the law of sin.

Introduce your partner to your circle and involve them in the daily run of your life– Once you have established your relationship, introduce your mate to you friends and family. NOTE: This is not to look for an opinion from them but to allow them to start to form relationships with the people you value. Invite them to functions you have or you lead i.e. bible studies, workshops, conventions, reunions etc. This also gives you a look into how they fit in your life and if your relationship continues, this will be necessary.


Communicate effectively and Pray– Tackle things head on in your relationship. Talk to your partner about your dreams, fears, expectations and concerns. Scared they will leave? Don’t be. The person God has for you will take your issues as his or her own and pray for God’s will in your life. They will take seriously the covenant you both have made. You both will grow together in Christ.

Of course, there are more things I could write, but I feel like some things are common sense. Before you seriously start dating/courting, realize that it will take much work and prayer, but it will be worth it!


Love Hard. Live Harder.

The Queen


One Response to “The Queen’s thoughts on Dating/Courting a Christian”

  1. Alan OnePurpose Jean June 13, 2011 at 1:04 PM #

    This post right here hit home. We need to take this Christian walk serious especially when trying to add someone to it. I love the parts about involvement in each other’s lives. This is crucial. You need to observe how the person acts in their natural environments including their interactions with friends and family.

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