She gotta ’em, He gotta ’em: KIDS

13 Jul

She got kids

And I don’t know if I’m ready to give

Them the things that they need to live

‘Cause if we become more than just friends what I do for her I gotta do for them kids

She got kids

And I just wanna make sure this is

more than just some sexual trip

See all I wanna do is prevent those kids from getting hurt again


[2nd Verse:]

Most men think it but they’ll never say it

but what if ya’ll had another baby

And he’s accused of choosing favorites, and they’re right

Would he be wrong for loving his own flesh and blood a little more

Is he being human or only being immature

who’s to say

that’s why it’s better just to wait

take love day to day

and let love spread its own wings

and if it wants to fly away or if it decides to stay

it wont be because of any unrealistic expectations ya’ll done made

and he wont have to pray that little girl ain’t awake

when he tiptoe out the door so he won’t have to explain

I don’t wanna take that chance please don’t take offense

I just don’t need that kinda drama on my conscience


She Got Kids/ Lyfe Jennings

I have no desire to marry a man with children. Yup, I said it…. There are many reasons why, but to be completely honest, a few are completely selfish. I like to be the center of attention, and that is hard position to play in a relationship when children are involved. Right after tithes, a man must pay his child support or he is going to jail. If you are married, then technically, you both are paying. A good Christian man will want to devote a substantial amount of time to his child and also want to forge a decent relationship with his child’s mother. Who wants to deal with possible baby mamma drama? I am smart enough to know that these two people had a relationship and had sex. Regardless of what anyone might think, having sex with someone has emotional ties attached to it. I already know that is going to be something we would need to unpack in our relationship.

Recently, I have been convicted of my thinking. What if the husband God has for me has a child? Is it a deal breaker? I have friends who have married men with one, two and even three children. I come from parental unit who both had children before marrying. For me, it comes down to feasibility and calling. Dating someone who has children must be a workable concept for you. If you are adverse to children, the adult and child will sense that from you, even if you try to hide it well. But I recognize that it is a possibility that the one for me might have kids, and even though I might feel indifferent about a man with kids (and I do… just a little) his total package is not diminished if he is handling the situation to the best of his ability. Also, when you court/date someone with kids, you are building a relationship with him or her too. Be aware and careful of how you handle children during and after a relationship. Children should not have battle scars because a relationship ended.

At the end of the day, I think dating someone with children is a matter of preference. I don’t think I am better than anyone because I do not have children; I just have a different package. If I met a man who I hit it off with, who happened to have kids, I would consider it. Let’s be honest, children are lovely and beautiful… but they are something that I did not create and I think it takes a certain type of person to deal with one who has children. In essence, it is not a deal breaker but it is something to consider going forward in a relationship, especially with someone has does not have any. How do you feel about being in a relationship with someone who has kids?

Love Hard. Live Harder.


The Queen



One Response to “She gotta ’em, He gotta ’em: KIDS”

  1. JustLissen July 13, 2011 at 3:21 PM #

    I would say a man with kids is definitely not a deal breaker as long as he has a solid relationship with his children. But then again, I love kids. I think they are the purest form of love on earth… just so beautiful. But I can understand your points, and it makes me consider some of my thinking.

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