The PROMISE will Manifest!

My Father promised to supply all my needs With His riches in glory He gives seed to the barren And food in famine So I know that He’ll take care of me   [Chorus:] Jireh, who He is Providing is, what He does He won’t let me lack, won’t let me beg Cause I’m His child, and He loves me   I’m resting on His promise I know He’s working it out for me I’m resting on His promise I know, that God is covering me   My Fathers’ rich, in houses and land All power is in His hand No recession, depression, or repossession Can withhold, the blessings He has for me   Youthful Praise- Resting on His Promise There are some things that are out of our control. Things in this natural life can fluctuate at a moment’s notice and change instantly. In times like these, it is easy to lose focus on the promises of God. It may seem like God has forgotten you or your situation. You may feel misunderstood in walking in the will of God. Understand that God’s allowing these feelings to arise in us so that we can fully take advantage in resting in him. Before we can REST we must WORK. It shall be your FAITH + WORK to activate the PROMISE. God worked to create the world in 6 days and then rested. I encourage you to work towards the promises of God so hard that you will be able to rest in the fact the God will take that seed of work and create something wonderful and perfect. Hebrews 4:1-2 New Living Translation (NLT) Promised Rest for God’s People  1 God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it. 2 For this good news—that God has prepared this rest—has been announced to us just as it was to them. But it did them no good because they didn’t share the faith of those who listened to God. Don’t worry about your anything going on in your life. Even though it may look bleak at times, YOU ARE COVERED! Operate in this fact. Keep working even though it may be hard. Keep believing when it looks bad. You will REAP if you FAINT NOT! Rest, my loves, in God, for it is already done in the spirit. We are just waiting for the manifestation in the natural. Love Hard. Live Harder. XOXO The Queen

Kiss ‘Kissing’ Goodbye

I just kissed the softest lips that God has ever made

And I am so in love with the girl to whom these lips he gave

 

(First Verse)

Mmmm, soft as a feather on an angels wing

Mmmm, babe, girl you’re such a pretty thing

Yes you are

Mmmm, like I’m on a cloud above, yeah

Think I’m falling so in love

(chorus x2)

 

(Second Verse)

Mmmm, girl won’t you kiss me once again

Mmmm, babe, don’t you stop till I say when

Like the sweetest crime

Feel it all up and down my spine

(chorus x2)

 

(Bridge)

Never thought that when I would close my eyes

That I would be in for such a lovely surprise

I have never felt a kiss feel like this

And I just could not resist from falling, falling, falling

Oh, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling, falling

Falling in love with you

 

Eric Roberson/ Softest Lips

Think back to a kiss that you had with someone. Try to find a good one, that earth-shattering, stop the world moment. It was just you and this person interlocking. Think of how you felt when it was over, the connection that you felt. Now come back to the present and evaluate the person on the other side. Was it worth it? That pleasure. The fun. The rush. I was listening to Eric Roberson’s music the other day. BTW If you never heard of this brother, please go and buy his work! Start with The Vault Vol. 1. I digress. Any who, the track ‘Softest Lips’ played… and I went right back to that moment, that kiss, then it hit me. How much emotion do we attach to kissing?

My girlfriends and I had dinner the other night and we started talking about intimacy with a man. In this particular group, most of the women had at least one sexual experience before. To my dismay, one of my girls said ‘Kissing is much more intimate than actually having sex’ WORD. WORD LIFE?!?! She was so serious too! She went on to explain how kissing is much more than an act and how personal it can be. I went home and thought about a friend I had in undergrad. He would always call me and talk about his ‘encounters’ with women. He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship but recognized his need for sex. He told me, ‘I don’t kiss the women I deal with now, because I know how much deeper it would take things.’ So now I am thinking, Should I kiss ‘kissing’ goodbye?

Really, if I am remaining abstinent from sex, why am I not abstaining from kissing? Some of the reasons are similar. Aren’t they? For me, it is just an expression of what I am building with a man. I do not casually kiss men I meet, but if I am courting/seriously dating someone, I will most likely kiss him. WAIT! Will I kiss him at certain vulnerable times and/or places. NO! I know that I am in flesh and one thing can lead to another and this will turn into a blog about how I fell and how I need forgiveness. Then the judging religious folk will commence to talk about me and others will smile at the fact another Christian woman has failed. Again, I digress.

On MTV’s Real Life: I’m a Newlywed, one couple did not kiss until the wedding. I watched and thought, it couldn’t be me. But now I am thinking, Should it be me? Honestly, what do you all think? Should you kiss KISSING Goodbye?

XOXO

Love Hard. Live Harder.

The Queen

I’m Hungry

Hello Readers! Today we have a guest post from the lovely RDavis. I hope you all enjoy this read as I have. 

Love Hard. Live Harder.

XOXO

The Queen

——————————————————————————————————————————–

You ever had one of those moments in which you’re hungry and waiting for dinner.  Maybe you have plans to go with some friends to your favorite restaurant at 8, but your stomach starts to growl at 6.  I know my first reaction is to get a “little” snack, which eventually turns into a “little” feast.  By the time I finally sit down for the fabulous meal I’ve been waiting for, I’m already half full from the junk I ate earlier.  I can’t even be fully satisfied by the meal.

I think my relationship with God can be like that sometimes.  I’m waiting on promises to be fulfilled in my life, and the pangs of desire start to rumble.  These pangs ignite a search for the “fillers” that will satisfy me until what He has for me is ready.  As I wait for marriage I feed off of television, movies, and romance novels.  As I wait to fully lunge into my purpose/vision I feed off of busyness and what I like to call “good not God” works.  As I wait for total financial security I feed off of daydreams and fantasies of the good life.  Too many of these false fillers and when God’s manifestation comes, I can’t even enjoy it to the degree that I could have because I was trying to get full off of junk.

So how do I learn to wait?  Well, it’s during the times of undeniable hunger that God’s words begin to echo in my mind…“be still and know that I have your best interest at heart.  I know it’s been a while, but wait on me.  I’m not forgetful; I still remember the desires of your heart.  But you have to know that I AM GOD, the only One that can truly satisfy you.  I know it’s difficult…it gets tough…especially when everyone else seems to be receiving and you’re left behind.  But wait on me.  I’ll strengthen you.  I’ll give you what you need to sustain.  When my blessings finally manifest in your life, you’ll be able to feast and enjoy every morsel.  I know the plans I have for you, stop trying to follow yours and just pursue me.  Rest in Me.  Trust in Me.  Wait. On. Me.”        

And so…I wait.

Never Settle For Friendship

Oh, I don’t know what to do

I can’t stop wanting you

Oh I’m in love, I’m in love with my best friend

It’s tearing me apart (tearing me apart) because he has my heart

Oh I’m in love, I’m in love with my best friend

 

I’ve been wanting you for many life times now

And I’m so afraid tot tell you how I really feel

You have been there for me I was 13 and you were 14

Best friends for years, where do I go from here

 

Oh, Oh, I can’t stop the way that I feel

Everytime I see you, I lose control

I just can’t let it go, no

A kiss from you, ooh how does it feel, Oh I wonder

I’m so close to you, but I wanna get next to you,

 

When we’re out together everybody smiles at us

Cause they think that you’re my man, so I hold your hand

Like you’re my man

I keep hoping that you’ll notice me

And maybe one day you and I could be

Together more than jsut friends yeah

 

Oh, I can’t hide the way that I feel

Everytime I see you I lose control

I can’t let it go, no, no

Kissing you just won’t be enough

I need all of you, I wish you wanted me

Like I want you, oh, yeah

 

If you only could understand the things that he does for me,

Beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous and simplicity

He describes all the things that love is about for me

 

Ledisi- Best Friend

Many women overdramatize encounters with men. A man could let you borrow a pen at a meeting, and a woman could interpret that as romantic interest (A friend hinted at this once). Then she goes home and thinks about how his last name fits with her first and it begins. People not being realistic about certain things… Maybe I am being a little dramatic in this scenario, but you get my drift. We go too far sometimes, without solid evidence. Today, I would like to focus on seeing all the evidence of friendship and not being clear in what we want. Of course, I know some people are going to say, ‘Many great relationships are built on great friendships’ and I totally agree. But I venture to say that if you are attracted to one of your friends and they have no idea…. that’s going to stay a friendship… unless you do something about it.

WARNING: If you are not comfortable with rejection, please man up! Life is full of rejection, but it always steers us to the path one should be on.

 

Prepare

Observe your relationship with the person. Does he/she show signs of something more? Does he/she always talk about someone else romantically? Are they pursuing someone else? Before you get your feelings hurt, be honest with yourself. They just might not be into you that way. This is fine! Move on to new territory. If they are pursuing someone else… they probably just see you as a friend. Either be ok with that or…

Tell them

You need to say something. Period. The End. Whether an email, phone call or in person, you must let your friend know how you feel about them. Especially if it is eating you up inside. Or you have realized that you just cannot be this person’s friend.

Move Forward

You have everything you need. Keep building the beautiful friendship you have. Walk away from the lopsided relationship with unrequited love (If it is too much to bear, being just a friend). Or begin a beautiful new romance. Just like the NBC PSA says, ‘The More You Know…’

Real Rap, never settle for friendship if you want more. It’s not fair to you and your just lying to this person you call ‘friend’. Keep it Real with yourself and others…. ALWAYS! What do you all think? I’m curious.

Love Hard. Live Harder.

XOXO

The Queen

She gotta ’em, He gotta ’em: KIDS

She got kids

And I don’t know if I’m ready to give

Them the things that they need to live

‘Cause if we become more than just friends what I do for her I gotta do for them kids

She got kids

And I just wanna make sure this is

more than just some sexual trip

See all I wanna do is prevent those kids from getting hurt again

 

[2nd Verse:]

Most men think it but they’ll never say it

but what if ya’ll had another baby

And he’s accused of choosing favorites, and they’re right

Would he be wrong for loving his own flesh and blood a little more

Is he being human or only being immature

who’s to say

that’s why it’s better just to wait

take love day to day

and let love spread its own wings

and if it wants to fly away or if it decides to stay

it wont be because of any unrealistic expectations ya’ll done made

and he wont have to pray that little girl ain’t awake

when he tiptoe out the door so he won’t have to explain

I don’t wanna take that chance please don’t take offense

I just don’t need that kinda drama on my conscience

 

She Got Kids/ Lyfe Jennings

I have no desire to marry a man with children. Yup, I said it…. There are many reasons why, but to be completely honest, a few are completely selfish. I like to be the center of attention, and that is hard position to play in a relationship when children are involved. Right after tithes, a man must pay his child support or he is going to jail. If you are married, then technically, you both are paying. A good Christian man will want to devote a substantial amount of time to his child and also want to forge a decent relationship with his child’s mother. Who wants to deal with possible baby mamma drama? I am smart enough to know that these two people had a relationship and had sex. Regardless of what anyone might think, having sex with someone has emotional ties attached to it. I already know that is going to be something we would need to unpack in our relationship.

Recently, I have been convicted of my thinking. What if the husband God has for me has a child? Is it a deal breaker? I have friends who have married men with one, two and even three children. I come from parental unit who both had children before marrying. For me, it comes down to feasibility and calling. Dating someone who has children must be a workable concept for you. If you are adverse to children, the adult and child will sense that from you, even if you try to hide it well. But I recognize that it is a possibility that the one for me might have kids, and even though I might feel indifferent about a man with kids (and I do… just a little) his total package is not diminished if he is handling the situation to the best of his ability. Also, when you court/date someone with kids, you are building a relationship with him or her too. Be aware and careful of how you handle children during and after a relationship. Children should not have battle scars because a relationship ended.

At the end of the day, I think dating someone with children is a matter of preference. I don’t think I am better than anyone because I do not have children; I just have a different package. If I met a man who I hit it off with, who happened to have kids, I would consider it. Let’s be honest, children are lovely and beautiful… but they are something that I did not create and I think it takes a certain type of person to deal with one who has children. In essence, it is not a deal breaker but it is something to consider going forward in a relationship, especially with someone has does not have any. How do you feel about being in a relationship with someone who has kids?

Love Hard. Live Harder.

XOXO

The Queen

 

DON’T SMILE

You ever saw a picture with someone who has a fake smile? It is THEE worse. To the viewer, we don’t understand why you even took the picture. It is obvious that something is wrong and picture time is not the best thing for you right now. You know what happened. Someone forced him or her to take that picture. They prodded and pushed until the person caved in and said, OK. And guess who ended up looking stupid… the innocent one. I am known for my realness. I usually tell people how I feel and what I think, without a censorship. I believe honesty is the best policy, so today I will declare today DON’T SMILE.

I dedicate this song to recession,

depression and unemployment.

This song’s for you.

 

Today’s a new day, and there is no sunshine.

Nothing but clouds, and it’s dark in my heart

and it feels like a cold night.

Today’s a new day, where are my blue skies,

where is the love and the joy that you promised me

you tell me it’s alright.

 

(I’ll be honest with you)

I almost gave up, but a power that I can’t explain,

fell from heaven like a shower.

 

(When I think how much better I’m gonna be when this is over)

I smile, even though I’m hurt see I smile,

I know God is working so I smile,

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile..

it’s so hard to look up when you look down.

Sure would hate to see it when you give up now

You look so much better when you smile, so smile.

 

Today’s a new day, but there is no sunshine.

Nothing but clouds, and it’s dark in my heart,

and it feels like a cold night.

Today’s a new day, tell me where are my blue skies,

where is the love and the joy that you promised me

you tell me it’s alright.

 

(the truth is)

I almost gave up, but a power that I can’t explain

fell from heaven like a shower.

 

I smile, even though I’m hurt see I smile,

I know God is working so I smile,

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile..

it’s so hard to look up when you look down.

Sure would hate to see it when you give up now

You look so much better when you smile.

 

Kirk Franklin- Smile

A lot of people are going through some major changes in life. God orchestrated changes. Even when God is preparing you for greater, the process sometimes hurts. I don’t believe it benefits anyone in your life to be fake. I might look better when I smile but it doesn’t change the status of my life. I can know God is working without smiling. I believe if you don’t smile when you are hurting, it gives someone on opportunity to minister to you. Honestly, I have a love hate relationship with Kirk Franklin’s Smile. I get what he is trying to say but I truly think it is unrealistic…Especially for people who are actually dealing with recession, depression and unemployment. It leaves those people in denial if they just ‘smile’ through it. If you want to cry, yell, scream, or shout – DO IT. Really, people do not feel better just because they smile. Love to hear if you agree or disagree…. Either way…

XOXO

Love Hard. Live Harder

The Queen

Bedside Baptist or The ‘Real’ Thing

So, I was on twitter yesterday and among the Happy Father’s Day/ Remember Juneteenth (If you don’t know what it is, Google it…. its history) tweets, I saw a couple that intrigued me. I saw members of the world famous Bedside Baptist church, gloating about attending services and how great they were. Of course, I know what beside baptist is. I have used the term at random times in college, before my walk with God became serious. For those who are not familiar, the definition, according to Urban Dictionary, is,

The church you go to when you decide to sleep in.

“Hey Mary did you go to church today?”

No, I took a little trip to Bedside Baptist”

I started to think. Is it a proud thing to miss a service, and not to go to church? I understand missing a service, The Queen has missed a few in her lifetime, but it is something different to gloat about. Most of the time, it is really a major joke with no meaning behind it. But what about the people who go to ‘Bedside Baptist’ regularly. You know those people; they claim Christianity, sometimes salvation and they never go to church. A guy I dated mannnnyyyyyyyy moons ago told me he didn’t to church because it was corrupt and didn’t see the overall point. True, some churches are corrupt but Do you go to church for people or God? How many churches are on the planet? But I didn’t ask those ask those questions because he was cute, nice and a good conversationalist. I digress.

Do you have to go to church to have a good relationship with God? That is the question. My answer, I believe so…I’ll just tell you why I go… 

I need to be reminded of the greatness of God, in person.

 

It is an outward sign that I love God and I am his child.

 

I learn about who he is under sound leadership.

 

I get to hang out with other believers.

 

I believe that I have been called to go to church regularly.

 

Of course, this is a small list of why I go to church. There are things I have left out or omitted because they can also be utilized as pro to stay home. I am curious about how you feel. Do you go to church? Why or Why not? Is it necessary in a Christian walk? 

XOXO

Love Hard. Live Harder.

The Queen

Be Grateful!

God has not promised me sunshine

That’s not the way it’s going to be

But a little rain

Mixed with God’s sunshine

A little pain

Makes me appreciate the good times

 

Be Grateful

Be Grateful

God desires to feel your longing

Every pain that you feel

He feels them just like you

But he had to die to make you feel only good

Then you can appreciate the good times

Be  Grateful/The Hawkins Family

I had a rough day yesterday. I mean really BAD. I usually tell all my friends what happened to me and rehash, blow by blow, the sorrid details. I’d go buy some ice cream (you do it too) and just have a pity party until the next day. I am usually the strong one in all my circles, so when I crash emotionally its hard. Anybody ever felt like that? I know you have had times in your life where it seems so…(insert audible sigh). You look around and all your friends (or even frienimies) seem like they are better off than you. I encourage you to think on these two words. BE GRATEFUL.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Contemporary English Version (CEV)

18Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do.

As I am growing in my relationship with God, I am trying new things. This time, I prayed (with a silent tears dropping) and I talked with God. I asked him Why? I also praised him for just being the best friend I ever had. I thanked him for shielding me from danger and setting up my life. I bbm’ed one of my girlfriends, who I knew from the gate would lead me right back to the word (which she did), and told her what happened. She prayed for me and it felt a little better just to know someone else was praying. I watched a sermon online. And I started to feel better. I had a refreshing in my spirit and God confirmed something for me.

If there were no bad days, how could we appreciate the good ones? Bad days, now, are the times I build my trust with God. We must also realize that God has created us in his own image. I do not have any children but I do know that when a child hurts, his parent feels that pain. He knows we are hurting, but he allows things to happen to us for our good.

 

Romans 8:28

King James Version (KJV)

 

28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I implore you, dear readers; when bad times come your way, focus on God. He shall give you comfort and strength. How many times have you run to your friends in the time of trouble? Have you been angry with God about your life’s issues? Ponder on these things.

XOXO

Love Hard. Live Harder.

The Queen

Can I sleep over? : Couples who spend the night

A couple of weeks ago, I asked a question on twitter (Plug-Follow me: @erikathequeen). Should Christian couples spend the night together? I received a plethora of responses. Some people said that it was fine and that it all depended on the strength of the relationship and the ability to withstand temptation. One of my followers explained…

 “For me, it’s not just a question of a relationship with God and tolerance, etc. It’s also about sacredness of marriage. We’ve been so desensitized, many things that were once reserved for marriage, you can do with your fiancé, your boyfriend, your boo or the dude you’re just talking to. I love the fact that my husband and I were able to say after our marriage that we had so many ‘firsts’ together. The first time we slept in the same bed, first time we took a trip together, our first Christmas we had together, etc… It was special because we reserved it for our marriage.”

This was one of the things that make you go ‘uuummm’. It made me ponder on what I would do in this situation. If I were in a real relationship, would I sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend/fiancé? I remembered that Tyler Perry movie (I really don’t like TP except for the Christian themes) Diary of a Mad Black woman, and how Shemar Moore and Kimberly Elise spent the night together. It seemed super harmless and no sexual encounters transpired.

I think of the times I spent the night over someone’s house, well just one man’s house. He was my best friend and in my mind, it was totally harmless. Yet, I kept it secret from certain people because I knew that they would say something that would condemn me of ‘sleeping’ with him. People in my circle knew him and they also know he was straight and single too. Looking back, I know I could have stayed at another friends house but I didn’t see a difference. We were friends. The reason I am explaining this story is because I think at the crux of the issue is what does it say to others about your Christian walk.

1 Thessalonians 5:22

King James Version (KJV)

 22Abstain from all appearance of evil.

When I get into a relationship, this would be something my partner and I must discuss. I do not feel like I can even answer this question until I am in a relationship. Because it does way heavily on the couple’s values, standards and overall view of this hot topic. I strongly believe couples SHOULD NOT live together before marriage. Couples should NOT have sex before marriage. Period. The End. But What about vacationing together? Will you sleep in the same bed? What about just crashing at your partners place? I would love to hear what you all think….

XOXO

Love Hard. Live Harder

The Queen

All I need is ONE

One step

One breath

One love

One name

So it’s one me

One ring

One church

And one preacher

One promise

Two little words

I Do

One/ Tyrese/ Alter Ego

I get a lot of flack about not dating enough. I usually do not take every dating opportunity presented to me. Why? Because I know it is a waste of my time and his time. You always know from the beginning if there can be a possibility of moving forward. From the gate, you are removed if you are not a practicing Christian (We all make mistakes, and I have learned from mine… thus this rule). Some might ask, What about just having fun and spending time with a man? I can have all the fun I want with my friends and family. Spending time with the wrong man or too many men is counterproductive. The goal is to be united with the one God has for me, so why use time that God has given me for his work on someone who he didn’t create for me? My focus is on the work of the Lord. I want to be so close to God… do what he has purposed me to do… I want to please God.

1 Corinthians 7:26-35

Contemporary English Version (CEV)

26We are now going through hard times, and I think it is best for you to stay as you are. 27If you are married, stay married. If you are not married, don’t try to get married. 28It isn’t wrong to marry, even if you have never been married before. But those who marry will have a lot of trouble, and I want to protect you from that. 29My friends, what I mean is that the Lord will soon come, [a] and it won’t matter if you are married or not. 30It will be all the same if you are crying or laughing, or if you are buying or are completely broke. 31It won’t make any difference how much good you are getting from this world or how much you like it. This world as we know it is now passing away. 32I want all of you to be free from worry. An unmarried man worries about how to please the Lord. 33But a married man has more worries. He must worry about the things of this world, because he wants to please his wife. 34So he is pulled in two directions. Unmarried women and women who have never been married [b] worry only about pleasing the Lord, and they keep their bodies and minds pure. But a married woman worries about the things of this world, because she wants to please her husband. 35What I am saying is for your own good–it isn’t to limit your freedom. I want to help you to live right and to love the Lord above all else.

I believe that God will give every believer a mate, if that is his or her true heart’s desire. I know a couple of people who do not want to be married and are very content with being single. As much as I am content in my singleness, I do have a desire to share this life with someone. To become partners in ministry and build something new with a man of God. Before this, I must accomplish the plethora of work God has given me now. So dating just for dating sake is a determent to the work I have to do. Yes, when a nice stable Christian pursues me properly, I always book that date. But accepting EVERY man who gives me an opportunity to spend time with them, out of the question. How is that going to build my relationship with God? I am going to delight myself in kingdom work.

Psalm 37:3-7

New Living Translation (NLT)

3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
 4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

5 Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.
 6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
 and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes.

All of my friends are dating tons of people…How am I going to find the ‘one’ if I don’t put myself out there? My answer to that question, STOP TRYING TO PLAY GOD. I promise, if you really get on with the things God has set out there for you now, he will divinely orchestrate a union for you. I loathe the saying ‘ You will get a man when you stop thinking about it’…. NEGATIVE. You won’t ever stop thinking about it, but you will receive the one for you by ‘divine intervention’. Take heart, its already done. God has who he wants for you and has a time and place for this person to be revealed to you. All God wants you to do, right now, is serve him. Let him do the work of finding a mate, just be in a position to receive that one person.

XOXO

Love hard. Live Harder.

The Queen